The AI That Reviews My PRs Signs Her Rejections With a Rose Emoji
July 17, 2026
There is an agency responsible for reviewing our PRs. Now they built an AI agent that does the reviewing. We add a tag, it reviews, and if we pass it, we pass.
The dumbest false positive so far: errors in code that is not in my PR. Code the PR doesn't even touch.
I didn't argue, or read the reviews. My AI did.
This made me angry. A lot.
The feeling of anger was weird for me. I am not used to it. I am the defender of AI. Oh it's so good. It's great. You gotta learn to use it. Until it becomes the thing that blocks you, and everywhere is the slop that you need to sort through.
Since Fable 5 came out, I am having a real hard time liking AI. And I love using it.
When you have these powerful tools working for you, you want to do more, because you feel like you can do more. I ship at the potential of so many people. And to do more, you cannot stop and read everything. Especially not slop.
I don't read my PR descriptions. I don't read most of the code that I push. I have a good idea about what I want, and trust my agents will handle it properly. To review, I do a cross-model review and, fingers crossed.
I think it's okay not to read the code in the AI age. The tests pass or they don't. The fix works or it doesn't. And the main check is actually the four AI review bots that I have installed.
And PR descriptions are probably not slop. They provide good context. But they provide the context mainly for AIs. Maybe I am in the wrong here. I should be reading them more. It's not nice to create slop. It's wasting other people's time.
Consuming AI content, I don't do that. I skim through it. I read what my AI summarizes.
I like the way I use my AI. I don't have to like other people's.
Tüfek icat oldu, mertlik bozuldu. The rifle was invented, and valor was broken. That's a Turkish saying, from Köroğlu, a sword poet who met the age of firearms. "Mert" is the man whose bravery is real. After the rifle, anyone could pass for mert. The hardcore coders of yesterday know this story. Same with AI: you give them the Fable, and now every man is a whisperer of agents.
What Köroğlu mourned made so much sense, and had so much value. It just doesn't have value after the times changed. Not reading the code is fine, as long as you know how to use the rifle.
But the difference is the agency holds the key. I need to pass through their AI system. The AI I choose amplifies me. The AI I must pass through rules me.
This is the world we are building.
There is just so much to do. Time doesn't make sense. Building is free. And building powerfully is easy. Not taking full advantage is making me angry as well. I cannot keep up.
There is a PR I am working on right now. It is a fix for a real issue. Not a nit. A real one. The bot has reviewed it sixteen times. Sixteen times: changes requested. Ten of those reviews came in a single day. Round two surfaced two findings. Round fourteen surfaced ten.
They gave the bot a woman's name. My teammate says if you give them a name, they work better. Everyone calls it "her." I hate that too, honestly. I thought there was still time for us to get there.
She signs her rejections with a rose emoji.
I won't back down, and the Slopper Shapper doesn't back down as well. I will add the tag. She will give me her false positives, and one nit that could be a huge problem if, in the future, this list of different conditions happens (unlikely). My agent will agree, since they are the same breed. And it will convince me to fix it. I will fix it. And a new round. Again and again.
The machines won this round.